7 Tips for Coping with Social Anxiety
“A battle with Mental health can be an invisible battle to the outside world, but inside there is nothing more real than our perceptions and fears.”
As we start to go out and gather together in a “post” pandemic world, some of you may be feeling signs and symptoms of Social Anxiety. If you’ve already known, pre-pandemic, that you’ve struggled with a form of social anxiety, you may have felt your symptoms worsen or relapse. Or perhaps it’s your first time ever feeling this way. You may even know a friend or loved one that is going through this as well.
But what is Social Anxiety?
According to webMD social anxiety is an Intense fear or stress of being in social situations that feels like it’s too much to handle. Some symptoms are rapid heart beat, stomach irritation and diarrhea, muscle tension, dizziness and light headedness and an inability to catch your breath. This can lead to isolation, depression, low self esteem, poor social skills that don’t improve and sensitivity to criticism.{4}
Before I found breathwork, my Social Anxiety was crippling at best. Having conversations, 1:1 was challenging, to say the least, and meeting new people was nearly impossible. I would frequently avoid being in social situations, mostly out of fear. Which often made me feel left out and ultimately sent the problem into a downward spiral.
TBH, since grade school, I can't remember a time that I didn't feel self-conscious around people. Growing up “different” from the norm in middle America, feeling like life at home was too strange for others to relate to let alone understand. This ripple of uncertainty continued as I got older. For a brief period of time I tried to band-aid my anxiety with medication, and of course, therapy, but ultimately it never felt like it was getting any better. By the time I had graduated college and was 6 years into my career, I hit a wall and had a breakdown... At the time I felt that I was at a loss for options, 11 years later and I’m here to tell you that there is hope.
Here are 7 Tips to help you cope with Social Anxiety:
COPING STRATEGIES TO RELIEVE ANXIETY:
#1 Practice deep breathing exercises
By deep breathing, I mean calm, rich, full breaths. Taking a deep inhale in and long exhale out. Allowing the breath to extend a little longer as you practice. You can also practice breathing exercises like TACTICAL BREATH or box breathing. Check out our reel to guide you through Tactical Breathing.
#2 Visualize a calm space.
For me, my happy place is by the ocean. Picture a peaceful space that is calming and allows your worries to melt away from you as you visualize your calm space.
#3 Practice Mindfulness
You can use Mindfulness and meditation to get control of your anxiety. One of my favorite ways to do so is going for a walk and observing my senses:
Sight: Take a moment and notice each thing you see and say it in your head: Bird, stop sign, dog, house, azaleas.
Sound: Do the same thing with sounds: garbage truck, kids playing, dog barking, the ocean crashing.
Smell: Do the same thing with smell: roses, fresh grass, jasmine, sea breeze.
Go for meditative walks to feel less anxious or to clear your mind.{1} Sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste ~ your senses can help calm you down at the moment when you're feeling anxious.
#4 Practice Gratitude
Write in a gratitude journal each day to remind yourself of what you have to be grateful for.{1} Don't forget to be thankful for what you've accomplished on your journey with social anxiety. Count the small wins like going to the bank or grocery store just as much as the big wins.
#5 Try Exercise
Exercise blows off steam and releases stress. Much like animals in the wild such as the gazelle that shakes off stress after getting away from a lion on the hunt. We, too, need to shake off and release tension. The added benefit of Exercise is the hormonal release of feel-good hormones like endorphin.
#6 Try Progressive Muscle Relaxation
This is a great technique that can also be used before going to bed. You can do this seated, but I prefer lying on my back. Start with noticing your breath and allowing the breath to become deeper on the inhale and longer on the exhale.
Begin to scan your body from head to toe, and with each breath, start to relax the part of your body that you are focused on.
IE closing your eyes, relax your eyelids.
Inhale ~ Exhale: Relax your cheeks, chin, and jaw. Inhale ~ Exhale: Relaxing your throat.
Inhale ~ Exhale: Relax your shoulders.
Continue down the body, taking a moment to relax each body part with a breath.
#7 Learn how to control your breathing.
Your breath sends signals to your brain that it is stressed or anxious and vice versa. This can lead to a debilitating cycle if it goes unnoticed. Streaming signals throughout the body, our breath can give us a peek into our mental and emotional state of being. Pay attention to your breathing throughout the day and notice when you feel stress triggers. Observe how it affects your breathing.
If you learn how your breathing is triggered by your stressors, you can just as quickly reverse them by calming the breath. Your breath acts as a switch to help your brain and body. Practicing breath control is a great tool to learn, putting the power back in your hands and allowing you to become calm, clear, and collected.
TIPS TO COPE WITH SOCIAL ANXIETY
Start Small
Don't jump into big social situations.
~ Don't push yourself to go fast; go at your own pace when dealing with your social anxiety.{1}
Prepare
Plan ahead for social situations
Understand that everyone will have a different comfort level, and it is OK to set boundaries so{1} you know what you are comfortable with and other people know where you stand.
Take the Focus Off Yourself
Try shifting your attention to what's happening around you instead of what's inside your head. Notice and observe; this is a great time to use your senses and practice non-judgment as you scan the room. Try to release any thoughts about yourself and just observe.
Talk Back to Negative Thoughts
These thoughts might be about people or situations, and they may even be automatic.{2} This is key! Sometimes we feed ourselves with so many negative thoughts, and we don't even realize it's happening. The key here is to notice when you are thinking negatively and try to reframe your thoughts. {3}
You don't have to be in a hurry to return to your old life
If it was causing you a lot of stress, re-evaluate what is important in your old life and what you might be able to let go of (to feel better).{1}
Realize that safety and anxiety are two different things.
Getting clear with yourself about why you are avoiding them is important. If it's because of anxiety, then take efforts to challenge the fear instead of pretending that you are still keeping yourself safe from the pandemic. Try to face your fears instead of hiding from them. {3} Remember, avoidance only increases anxiety.{1}
Avoid Negative Coping Strategies
Anxiety can show up in our body's physiology; feeling sick to your stomach, nausea, shortness of breath, even shaking or trembling.{2} Which can lead to even further isolation. When presented with the opportunity to be out at a social gathering, the first thing people gravitate to is a drink to blow of steam.
Instead of building liquid courage to gain confidence in social situations, try a healthier substitute for coping, such as mentally prepping for the event and tactical breathing. A drink or two might feel good to blow off steam at first but can ultimately create more anxiety in the long run.{3}
If you or a loved one notices that you feel anxiety about social situations, perhaps for the first time in your life, know you're not alone.
A battle with Mental health can be an invisible battle to the outside world, but inside there is nothing more real than our perceptions and fears. The fight starts with our thoughts and seeps into our personal judgments and perceptions of ourselves and others.
This is a cycle that can be changed!
But first, we need to calm ourselves and become center to clearly see what is going on under the surface.
That calm we seek is just a breath away.
For more information on how to cope with stress, check out our blog post HOW YOU BREATHE IS HOW YOU LIVE!
SITED SOURCESYes, we like to cite our sources, so you can learn more here:
1) Arlin Cuncic, Adapting to Post-Pandemic Reality When You Have Social Anxiety, Very Well Mind, 2021 May https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-adapt-to-post-pandemic-reality-with-social-anxiety-5180281
2) Melinda Smith, M.A., Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., and Jennifer Shubin, Social Anxiety Disorder, Help Guide, 2020 September https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/social-anxiety-disorder.htm
3) Maria Cohut, Ph.D., 4 top tips for coping with social anxiety, Medical News Today, 2019, August https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/326211?c=133217570050
4) Smitha Bhandari, MD , What is Social Anxiety Disorder, WebMD, 2021 May https://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/mental-health-social-anxiety-disorder