Finding Forgiveness
Photography Credit: Motion City Films
““As I sit here stewing in my dismay, I find myself feeling violated and frustrated for trusting. Looking for the patience and understanding to find compassion and forgiveness. But how do you find forgiveness for someone who has hurt you? And how can you ever forgive yourself for hurting someone else?” ”
This last year I've found myself practicing and sharing my practice for forgiveness with clients more and more regularly. It's a subject that comes up for all of us. Some of us feel challenged with it.
Many of us have been hurt by others in our lives or have hurt others. Sometimes in more challenging ways than in others.
So I thought I would share a few practices that I've found helpful in finding forgiveness.
Who Do We Practice Forgiveness To?
Firstly who do we practice forgiveness to?
There are many reasons and ways to practice forgiveness and we can start by practicing forgiveness:
1) With Each Other
2) Our parents for the way they raised us
3) Ourselves for the way we repeated their patterns in our relationships
4) Ourselves for repeating those patterns with ourselves
4) Others for repeating their own patterns
5) EVERYONE
TYPES OF FORGIVENESS
But just because we forgive does not mean that we forget. In my pranic healing practice, the lesson on forgiveness talks about 2 types of forgiveness:
Inner Forgiveness + Outer Forgiveness
Inner Forgiveness: Is for all
Outer forgiveness: is for most, not all
INNER FORGIVENESS:
Inner means you understand whatever the offense was. That person is a soul that is evolving, just like we are souls that are evolving. Evolution involves time processing and maybe a few screw-ups or mistakes. So we like to be forgiven, and whether the other person is aware of it, they want and need to be forgiven. So Spiritually, Inner forgiveness is whatever offense spiritually, I forgive you. This allows you to release that entanglement and maybe even let you sleep at night because you let it go.
EXTERNAL FORGIVENESS:
Internally Spiritually, I forgive you
Externally I need to get that restraining order because you are a jerk or lawyer or call the cops, or set whatever boundary. Spiritually, I forgive you, and you let it go internally, but this is not okay externally, and you set boundaries. Internally you're allowing inner peace, but you do not have to let go of what you learned or release healthy boundaries from someone who has hurt you. Externally you can create the healthy boundaries that you need to make. Otherwise, there might be chaos because that person might think it's okay to keep doing the stupid thing that they did that hurt you in the first place, not only to you but also to other people.
You see, forgiveness is not for them…
Many people make a mistake and forgive someone and think it's about making peace with the other person, but NO.
It's for YOU! They could care less.
Does that make sense?
After all, Who is the one on the path of healing and growth?
You are!
Who is the one showing up for yourself to better yourself?
You are!
So this other person may not only not care that they have hurt you, but they might also be on a different path than you. Perhaps they aren't doing the type of work to better themselves the way that you are. So why would you try to appease them? Allow forgiveness of them for their flaws and mistakes so that you don't have to carry their baggage.
Forgiveness is a part of your work
to release other people's entanglements. If you continue to hold onto it, you will continue to anger and upset you. So let it go.
Here are two guided Meditations on Forgiveness to help you with this process and one of my favorite songs about forgiveness. Enjoy and if you like this content, please feel free to contact and share your experience.
A Mindful Practice For Forgiveness
Explore your inner subconscious with this mindfulness practice on forgiveness.
Enjoy this beautiful song to guide you on your path to forgiveness.
Ho’ Ponopono
Ho’ponopono is an ancient Hawaiian practice for forgiveness and reconciliation. It’s more than a prayer alone; its a process of making things right in your relationships with others, our ancestors, deities, the earth and ourself. The foundation of the practice is unity; an unbreakable bond connects you to everyone else, even though we seem so separate. When errors are corrected externally, errors are corrected internally. When you “cleanse” your consciousness, you contribute to the cleansing of the “collective consciousness.” When you forgive others, you, too, are forgiven because… As within, so without.
